For many who suffer back pain, trying to maintain a healthy sex life can be really frustrating. Back pain doesn’t however, have to mean no sex, though it may mean taking a different approach to lovemaking, which can be a good thing. The first step is to get a sound back pain diagnosis from doctor or therapist. Understandably, the limitations brought about by pain in the back may produce stress that can damage a relationship. The person who doesn’t have the pain often finds it difficult to understand what his/her partner is experiencing. The negative effects that pain has caused in a couple’s sex life can sometimes spill over into other aspects of the relationship. Good communication is critical. Otherwise, one partner may erroneously interpret a reluctance to engage in sexual activity as an excuse for not wanting to be intimate, which can lead to feelings of rejection and resentment. To reduce tension, try to create an atmosphere in which neither partner will feel rushed. It is rather advisable to set the stage with a gentle massage, a hot bath or shower – all to relax the muscles and ease pain. A couple should know that even under the best conditions, pain can occur during sex, and sould plan ahead how to respond and avoid anger, resentment or frustration. Positions/Preferences
People with low back pain may feel more comfortable bending backward/standing straight (extension) – as in degenerative disc disease. Or they may prefer bending forward (flexion) – as in spinal stenosis. These differences must be taken into account when deciding which sexual positions might work best. When standing straight/extension feels better: ? A man that prefers extension can use the missionary position with the woman bending her knees towards her chest; the man supports himself on his hands so his back is extended or bent backwards more. ? Or she can straddle him while he lies on the back with a pillownunder his lowr back. ? A woman with this type of lower back pain may want to lei on her stomach with a pillow under her chest allowing her partner to enter her from behind. ? Or she can straddle him – facing toward him or away – as he sits in a chair, which lets her control both the position of her lower back and her movement. When bending forward/flexion feels better: ? For a man who prefers flexion, it may be better entering the partner from behind while they are both in the kneeling position, or the woman could kneel at the edge of the bed facing in so that he stands and enters from behind and can bend forward. ? They can also lay in a side-lying position with him entering from behind (sometimes called the foetal position). ? For a woman preferring flexion, she could use the missionary position, keeping her knees bent and pulled towards her armpits. ? Straddling might also work fine if she bends forward and puts her chest against his. As a rule, the partner with back pain should take a passive role in lovemaking, with the other partner introducing stimulation in a very relaxed manner. Trying new positions can be a rewarding journey of exploration that leads to a new intimacy between partners. Never underestimate the power of soft music and candle light. As an added benefit, restoring healthy sexual relations will lower stress, and lower stress often leads to less pain. Visit author’s blog today.